What Manner of Faith

I have been a Christian all my life. I was raised as a preacher’s kid where the Sabbath was a Sacred Day. My Sundays including having breakfast of biscuits with syrup, eggs, and sausage prepared by my father. In Sunday school by 0930. I was in morning Worship Service at 1100. Home for supper then back for the evening service at 1500 and then Baptist Training Union (BTU) at 1800. My mother, Minister Irene Nicely, was in charge of BTU so there was no skipping out.  I have studied at seminary. I am a third generation preacher and have actually been a preacher for over ten years. I consider myself a mature Christian. However, I have a weakness in my Spiritual walk. I think I am lacking in Faith. I believe, trust, and love Holy Father the only true Living God. I believe that the Anointed Savior died on that Old Rugged Cross and trusted His Father to raise Him from the dead early on that Third Day with all power in His hands. I believe that the same power that the Resurrected Christ has resides with us in the form of the Holy Spirit. Yet, I still feel like my Faith is not strong enough. When things in my life are going well, I don’t need Faith. But when I don’t get the promotion that I am qualified for, or the job I applied for, or the doctor is reviewing my blood tests during my semi-annual physical: I find my Faith lacking. When my ministry is not progressing as fast as I think it should: I find my Faith lacking. I know the Faith roll call probably better than most. I know the story of Abraham and his Faith. Yet, the story does not seem to alleviate my weakness or make me stronger. I go outside and sit on the front porch to watch the sun come up hoping that some revelation is about to happen. I watch helpless birds land on the grass to get their food. These birds do not possess the skills to hunt for themselves to feed themselves or their young but yet God provides for them. They lack in nothing. I listened to the birds sing in a beautiful harmony that only a bird can do. I don’t understand the lyrics but I can only imagine the birds are singing songs of Praise and Thanksgiving. I watch the trees bow in the wind and am reminded of the Scripture that when the trees bow in the wind, they are praising God. I say a short prayer of thanks and admiration of the works of God but yet I feel my Faith is lacking. Maybe I am doing too much analysis. Maybe I should do the simple things in my life. I could stop procrastinating on things. I could stop being so lazy. I could find time to pray more earnestly and not simply out of habit.  Maybe my prayers should be more like the singing of the birds: a Prayer of praise and Thanksgiving. Yes, I could do that. My harmony will not be as good as the birds but maybe I should not worry about my harmony. Maybe I should not worry about how strong my Faith but use whatever manner of Faith I have to the maximum extent possible according to my God given abilities. Maybe I should rely on The Holy Spirit to provide the increase that my finite abilities are unable to provide. Maybe that is what Faith is all about.